Friday, August 6, 2010

It's Delovely - Song Saturday

Bush ManLove

From Waterbro blog
June 8, 2007

The public discourse shouldn't be about the governmental role in hetero marriages while limiting gays to "civil unions." Rather than seeking to alter the Constitution, a strict constructionist would see that civil unions should be available to all, while marriage is something private and more religious than governmental. Mexico is an example of a country where some want beach, or even underwater weddings, but they must also take the drive to an oficina where the legal aspect is addressed separately from the religious or ceremonial bonding, which may or may not be solemnified by a ceremony.

The least intrusion possible into personal lives is the proper role of government. Many people's civil unions are separate from the ceremony and religion of marriage. I have performed many marriages by the authority granted me by sending in an application for ordination taken from the classifieds section of Rolling Stone Magazine. These arrangements are legally sanctioned and valid, made so by the Universal Life Church and its tenet that government has no say over who can or cannot perform marriages.

It's pure silliness to distract voters with the "threat" of gay marriage while spending so many billions on destruction and massively irresponsible tax cuts. It's a civil rights issue that the elements of civil unions be made available to all, absent discrimination, and then if people want their pastor, rabbi, mullah or whomever to sanctify the union in a marriage ceremony, the religious aspect (if chosen) is completely separated from any inappropriate governmental role.

~~ Tim Carroll

I've reposted this Tim-blog, complete with this original and politically ironic selected picture depicting man-love, because it still makes sense.  I can't recall what was happening that moment in 2007, but it was no doubt connected to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and the ever-popular wedge issue of gay rights.

Marriage in the old days was more like a transfer of chattel, a convention to pass off a woman to a man, in some traditions with the gift of livestock as dowry for the lucky groom.  "Here's your goat - where's my ring?"  There are as many definitions of marriage as there are religions and cultures. 

Well, we've come a long way baby and modern marriage in America has changed with the times. 

The current born-again kerfuffle about 'gay' marriage is shiny window dressing to distract us by hitting one of the emotional fear buttons while the real problems requiring political action mount.  It re-emerges every so often, conveniently around election time, to rouse sleeping yahoos and provide the far righteous with campaign talking points that don't require deep thinking.  Jackpot!

My view of America becomes distorted by the seeming waves of hate surrounding this topic when it should be very simple.  Western marriage is a contract between two people -- who agree to build a life together with all its joys and trials.  That contract entitles the couple to certain civil rights and entitlements such as tax benefits, death benefits, a codified relationship that is recognized legally.  The marriage dance follows certain universal steps.

There is attraction....
You can hear dear Mother Nature murmuring low "Let yourself go"

There is intoxication and stirrings of love...
Time marches on, and soon it's plain
You've won my heart and I've lost my brain.
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely.

There is the maturation and decision point....
Life seems so sweet that we decide
It's in the bag to get unified
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely

There is the joyful and sometimes tough work of  this loving partnership:
We settle down as man and wife
To solve the riddle called married life
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely

In this country, we are sometimes slow learners about acting like human beings.  We are guaranteed in our founding documents (as amended to address inequities) the right to equal protection under the law, the right to pursue happiness.  There is nothing more fundamentally human than seeking happiness in love.  It begins when we are born.

Interfaith marriage was once a cultural taboo.  Interracial marriage was once a legislative matter in some states.  My birth-Church would not have recognized my second marriage as a marriage.  Ludicrous.  But times change and so must our definition of marriage.  To deny gays the right to unite legally is to deny basic civil and human rights to a minority; our country and judicial system was founded on the principal of minority protections against the majority.  To deny gays the right to marry on the basis that it destroys heterosexual marriages is laughable.  There would nothing more demonstrably in the American character than to reconfer the concept of equality to all by getting off the hate bandwagon and celebrating union. 

I go to the well again, the Cole Porter well, for Song Saturday inspiration.   Marriage - It's Delovely and should be endorsed for all humans who choose it.


  1. Your Tim was an insightful writer. Can't believe, in a way, that we're STILL having this inane conversation so many years later...the "gays will damage my marriage" conversation. I can only hope as time goes on and minds evolve and wise people make their voices heard that the bulky collective in the middle will shift ever so slightly and realize their beliefs, their religion, their state of being is safe from the "threat" of homosexual love and commitment. Tim could see it back then; we still see it now. It's getting clearer, I believe, for that bulky middle.